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The crowd pressed in around me. Everyone longed to see Jesus, to get close to Him. Me? I desperately needed His touch. My body, racked with pain for many years... I was so familiar with this ailment, and yet desperate to have it gone from me forever! Twelve years. Twelve long years I had bled with no end… Do you know what it's like to have an ailment like this? Unbearable! It had become so much a part of who I was that I had lost myself in this issue of blood. My life was no longer mine. I couldn’t carry myself as I had before... before this. My head now hung in shame and I didn’t look people in the eye as I once had. That was out of the question because they knew... knew I was unclean.
I longed to be the carefree woman I once was. Laughing easily. Finding pleasure in the smallest things. The flowers blooming in the fields, the tall stalks of wheat ready to be harvested, their golden heads heavy with grain, the birds singing their sweet morning songs. More than that, though, was my yearning to be the way I used to be with people. I had always loved people. Compassion poured from my heart as I really saw the pain a person might be in. My arms so missed giving warm embraces. Encouragement flowed easily from my lips, nurturing and bringing a measure of hope and wholeness. But now, being healed was a fleeting hope.
I was ignored by everyone, left to myself by those I had been closest to. Did they know how much I was hurting inside? Dying? Being left alone and said to be unclean was worse than the disease itself. I desired to gather someone in a hug again, not only for their sake, but for mine. The loneliness was unbearable, but I had gotten used to it… almost.
Today I was near the Master! I had heard of Him so many times, had been in a crowd listening as He spoke. His voice rang with authority, compassion, and grace. Now, I was close to Him, so close. The crowd pushed in around me near enough that I could smell their sweaty bodies and see the color of their eyes... suddenly I was knocked to the ground! Angrily, I glanced up to see who had been so rude, but then realized I was closer to Him. Closer than I had been before... if I could just reach out and touch the hem of His garment... I stretched forth my hand, and my finger just brushed the hem. I was ecstatic! I had touched it! Immediately I knew the bleeding had stopped! I was free, at long last. Released from this dread disease that had plagued me for so many years.
Suddenly, Jesus was looking around asking, “Who touched my clothes?” (i) With the crowd pressing around Him, the disciples said it could have been anyone. Still He looked around. I was trembling with fear because of what had happened to me. I was joyful yes, but when I realized that He knew, I was fearful. I fell down before Him and told Him all. Then He spoke to me in the most beautiful, gentle, compassionate voice I have ever heard! He said, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction." (ii)
Healed of my affliction. He said I was healed of my affliction! Not just the issue of blood, I knew, but also the real me, was restored. I was once again who I had always been, but I was even more than I was before. I was whole. He told me it was my faith that had done this! When I looked into those eyes full of His heart, I could tell that He wanted to make me whole and bring me to a place of absolute peace and rest. For the first time in years I truly felt both. I would never be the same again.
He called me daughter! I was able to look into His eyes! Impulsively I reached out and hugged Him. He didn’t flinch or pull away, but returned my embrace and then with the tenderest love in His eyes He sent me on my way.
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Story based on Mark 5:25-34
(i)Mark 5:30
(ii) Mark 5:34
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