The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/03/07
So glad that you've bloomed, like the rose!

Be careful of switching between past and present tense (2nd paragraph).

This is something I'd recommend to teens, as they so often entertain thoughts of suicide.
Very nice! Great message and great descriptive language.
05/07/07
Thank you for sharing this. You have a powerful message here.

There are a few missed words and punctuation marks, like commas, throughout the piece. Editing things another good proofing would catch. I have the feeling you were caught up in the emotions of sharing such a painful event, that your brain moved faster than your fingers.

A well written, easy to read, strong message. Good job.
05/08/07
Certainly a powerful message, yet at times confusing. Seems as if it was written on the spur of emotion and not edited. A pity. But it's not too late.
Good inspirational here. I felt your pain. I was a little confused about the note to mother and the rose. I would have liked to have a little more info here. But the essence of the story is still here and very poignant.