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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write an INSPIRATIONAL or DEVOTIONAL piece (04/26/07)

TITLE: Spring Clean (An Inspirational piece)
By Catherine McCormick
05/01/07


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Spring Clean

Laodicea was floating in a dinghy under the shade of a pink cherry tree. The branches seemed to reach the other side of the unwrinkled stream. The dew from the grass had not evaporated. The morning was filled with short bursts of light rain. Laodicea marvelled at the cherry tree towering over her. The rain made the flowers sparkle in the sunlight. A light breeze caused some to fall onto her lap. How lovely they were!

Another flicker caught her eye. She looked down at her delicate wrist to see a glinting gold bracelet, which was attached to a remarkably similar pink flower to those in her lap. How dainty it was! The light of Laodicea’s eye fixed on the bracelet. The cherry tree was soon forgotten. The bracelet was far more precious and valuable than mere flowers of a cherry tree in Laodicea’s eye. Unknowingly, the light in her eye darkened. The darkness travelled from the veins in her eye to the veins of her heart. Furthermore, it crept under the door of her heart and even into her living room! Only a faint light could be seen from the fireplace. There was not much coal in the fire. Moreover, the fire was nearly smothered by all the rubbish. Nevertheless, something kept it aflame. The light in the fire blinked simultaneously with her eye. During her devotion session, the bracelet had snapped. The gold beads plopped one by one into the stream causing wrinkles.

Laodicea tried to reach for the flower. Alas! It was out of reach. The wrinkles had turned into deep creases and the flower was carried out of sight. The distraction had caused her to drift into a wide river. Laodicea tried to reach the side in vain. The creases were violent, boisterous waves smashing down on her. What was a dinghy compared to a wall of water? Ultimately, Laodicea was pushed down into the depths of the river.

In the confusion, Laodicea did not know whether to swim up or down. The dizzy waves caused her to swim round in circles. Eyes were bulging, lungs were bursting and her heart was screaming. Laodicea concluded that she could not save herself. The fire in her heart pleaded for forgiveness. In a moment, all the rubbish was consumed in her heart. The flame, the Holy Spirit, was now an inferno! Her living room was airy, bright and spring cleaned! A rising wave caught her and carried her onto the shore. Air rushed into her lungs, her heart sang and her eyes lit up. Laodicea was alive and restored!

From where she lay, she saw the cherry tree above her. The storm lifted, the clouds dispersed, however, there were no flowers for the sun to shine on. How beautiful they were but they pass away so easily. Flowers and the grass are the same in the end. They both pass away even though one may look prettier than the other. What flowers did she have stored up in Heaven for they would never pass away?

Her heart led her to a mango tree. Underneath it sat a girl called Grace. As she looked up, the blazing sun caused the tears on her cheeks to sparkle. Grace’s eyes were dark and filled with pain. No mangos were to be found. The sun had even scorched the grass round about her. The stream by the mango tree was dry and creased. Laodicea sat down beside Grace and told her of the love of Christ. How the Lord Jesus had made Himself less significant than the grass of the field. The sun scorched Him and ultimately sacrificed Him for all the passing flowers like Laodicea and the passing grass like Grace. Miraculously, His Father raised Him up as a resurrected flower; an everlasting flower like no other. Flowers and grass alike who believe would be transformed into eternally perfect flowers.

Grace’s tears of pain flowed into tears of joy. The darkness in her eyes as well as her heart dispersed. A cosy fire was lit in Grace’s living room. All the dust was swept away to leave two spring cleaned rooms instead of one. One morning both their bright eyes blinked simultaneously. Their eyes were no longer looking at mangos but on the face of their precious flower, the Lord! Finally, their sparkly eyes were matched by sparkly crowns. Both Laodicea and Grace lived happily ever after.


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Member Comments
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Jan Ackerson 05/04/07
A nice parable with some really pleasant descriptive language.

Try to avoid a few common pitfalls: overuse of exclamation points, and starting sentences the same way ("How...").

This story has huge potential and will be well-recieved by its target audience.