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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)

TITLE: PASTURE////Pastor
By
04/18/07


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PASTURE////PASTOR

“Mommy Mommy, come quick, Daddy and Grandma Lewis are fighting! Daddy’s really mad; he said Grandma Lewis is so opinionated she should be put out to pasture.
He can’t send her to pasture Mommy that mean bull Frank is out there. He charges everything that moves. Mommy, Daddy wouldn’t make Grandma Lewis sleep out there would he? It’s so very dark at night. Please don’t let Daddy send her to pasture. Hurry!

Chad never even stopped to breathe as he dragged me from the garden, through the kitchen, the dining room, out the front door to the long noisy porch.

My husband and mother-in-law stood nose to nose, cheeks red and eyes flashing. Boy was this dajazu.

Raymond shouted at his mother as if she was deaf. “You need your own pole pit, than I could have some peace.”

Realization finally dawned on her, bending to kiss Chad’s tears away she whispered in his ear, “Chad Daddy doesn’t mean with old Frank, Daddy thinks Grandma Lewis should go preach like Pastor Tony. But Mommy will take care of this.

Gaining the warring adults attention Cherilyn called “Raymond Lewis, you are scaring your son to death. Look at him he has real tears. Could you two shelf this discussion till after little impressionable minds have shut down for the night.

A look of real contrition turned Raymond’s cheeks from red to tan, “What did I say?”

His little boy caught expression sent Cherilyn into gales of laughter. She managed to squeak out “Frank,” while trying to take deep breathes to be able to quit laughing. These two could get so heated and not mean a thing by it, snarling one minute and chuckling the next.

“What does Frank have to do with which version of the Bible our church adopts as it’s daily text,” Grandma Lewis jumped in to the conversation.

“Oh for crying out loud, you two, not that again, Pastor Tony told you to pray about this, not debate it. If you two keep this up you will sit in separate corners until dinner.

Chad cheered, “Hooray Daddy’s going to time out. Grandma Lewis won’t have to go to pasture with mean old Frank.”

Grandma Lewis pulled little Chad close to her, enlightenment dawned on her penetrating all other thoughts. “I think in school next week Chad and I are going to study words that sound the same but have different meanings.”

Outrage chased all tears and fears away from Chad’s once compassionate face. “Mommy it’s not fair. Daddy and Grandma Lewis fight and I get more homework. I’m going to the barn to play with Snoops and her kittens. Next time Daddy can just send Grandma Lewis to pastor.” Stomping down the porch steps with an indignant thump, Chad vacated the premises.

Leaving the adults chuckling at how every good deed never goes unpunished.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 04/20/07
This was cute--it's so true that kids don't "get" adult talk, more often than we realize.

I was stymied a bit by "dajazu"--did you mean deja vu? And there were several places where you didn't put in closing quotation marks. With those minor edits, this will be a peach of a piece.
Jacquelyn Horne04/21/07
This is really cute. A few word errors, but very good. Watch your "than" and "then" usage. But this was such a good article that most may not notice it.
Brenda Welc04/22/07
This was awesome. I had a hard time not laughing outloud as I read it. Keep up the good writing.
Catrina Bradley 04/22/07
What an adorable story. I liked "get your own pole pit. I had to read it twice - I thought "what's a pole pit?" That's probably what Chad was thinking too. Very good.