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I could see his eyes from across the crowded room. They were the clearest, deepest blue I’d ever seen, to this day still. He called to me without ever opening his mouth. “Can I come to you?” It didn’t make any sense. I was the one who had sinned. I was the one who had messed up. Why on earth would he want to come to me? “Can I come to you?” Without thinking I answered yes. In an instant the room was empty and it was just the two of us, standing face to face. Suddenly there were no more distractions, no more obstacles to get past. It was just he and I. He knew I was broken. He knew I was tired and weak and in desperate need of comfort. He knew the thing I wanted more than anything was just to be held and to be told that it was going to be ok, that things were going to be ok. With this knowledge one would think that he would do exactly that. One would think that he would automatically scoop me up in his arms and tell me everything I wanted to hear. One would think. Instead he did something I never would have expected. “Can I hug you?” Can I hug you? He actually asked permission to put his arms around me. No man had ever done that to me up to that moment. He didn’t exercise his power or his authority, which he could have done. He didn’t assume that such an offer would even be welcome. The King of the universe, the Almighty, spotless, blameless Jesus was asking if he could hug me. Again, without thinking I answered yes. To turn him down would have been ludicrous. In the next instant I was enfolded in such deep, tender love that I had never before experienced. It was warm and secure, like a father. It was tender and intimate, like a best friend. There are no adequate words to correctly describe the depth or the magnitude of that feeling. His last question surprised me the most, maybe because I wasn’t expecting it. Nevertheless, it wasn’t enough for him to want to be near me and to hug me. He wanted more. “Can we start over?” Can we start over? Meaning he was with me all this time and he wanted to continue to be with me. He must have known I was going to get lost or run away again. He had to have known I was going to fail him over and over again. What could have made him want to start over with me? Can we start over? With tears streaming down my face, I answered, “Yes, of course we can.” It’s been a long time since I’ve had that dream but I’ll always be thankful for the unique way he chose to reveal himself to me and to remind me that in spite of my sin and imperfections, he still loves me with a fierce, protective, and active love. I’ll always be thankful that my God is nothing less than a gentleman.
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