The Official Writing Challenge
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Very well organized, good details, and a steady pace. The terms "UFOs," "Private Eye," and name "PJ" made it hard to stay in the moment. They're out of context and not authentic. Some research might uncover terms/names used then so that the reader can remain engrossed in the time period. Very enjoyable.
04/12/07
Wow, this has some great potential here. I too was a little distracted with a modern name and title, but still the writing was so strong against the action, the Roman guards, Mary and the Missine One Himself. Great work.