The Official Writing Challenge
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What a chilling story. I took a guess at the ending early on, but it held my attention all the way through. I loved the descriptions. They sent shivers down my spine. It also makes you stop and think about the longterm impact of daily decisions.
A sad reminder that if our soul has not been given to God it has been given to Satan. Good job.
04/13/07
Wow! Very eerie, indeed! Your title caught my attention, and your story kept it! Good message and great description! I would suggest spacing between sections of your story for easier reading, though! Nice job!
04/14/07
Great job with this chilling tale. Your descriptions are awesome - this is one of my faves: "his smile a languid line of pleasure across his unwrinkled face". I usually don't like open endings, but I liked this one. I can guess what's going to happen to him next. [shiver]
Cat
04/14/07
Amazingly vivid description. This read like it was from Masters. You have an absolute gift for this genre.
04/14/07
You touched my senses on so many levels, you are very talented writer - keep writing for Him!!
04/16/07
Oooo! Very mysterious! Love the ending, you did a great job with the suspense and keeping me engaged all the way through. Very vivid writing! (a few more spaces will make for easier reading next time ^_^) Thanks for sharing!
04/17/07
Wow. That was just amazing. At first it was tough to keep the "he"s and "him"s straight without a name here and there but after reading it, I wouldn't change a thing. It was EXTREMLY well done. Write more please!