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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Music (03/08/07)

TITLE: And Then I Heard The Music
By Denise Pienaar
03/13/07


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On the 9th December 1999, the unthinkable happened. My brother chose to end his life. Taking his gun, he set off to a beautiful and tranquil spot by a lake at the foot of the mountains – a place he had often visited to pray and meditate on the Word of God. This time he pointed a 44 Magnum at his heart and pulled the trigger.

Hikers on a nearby mountain trail heard the shot and raced to investigate. They arrived within minutes to find him lying unconscious and gasping for breath. Horrified, they summoned paramedics who immediately began emergency procedures in a desperate bid to keep him alive while they waited for the helicopter which would airlift him to hospital.

Doctors tried frantically to stabilise him but to no avail, as the arteries leading to his heart had been shredded by the force of the blast. They could do nothing but watch helplessly as his life slowly slipped away.

All who knew him were shocked. How could this have happened? How could a man who had led so many people to the Lord have reached such a place of desolation that he had seen no other way out? There seemed to be no answers to the questions that chased endlessly and relentlessly round in the minds of his family and friends.

I was devastated. The older brother whom I had adored for as long as I could remember had died. Violently. Tragically. By his own hand. I was wracked with grief, guilt, anger, bewilderment, abandonment and every other negative emotion imaginable. My faith was rocked to its foundations and my heart was broken as my soul cried out in silent anguish. Why? Why? Why? Lord, how could You have allowed this to happen? And the question which tormented me the most. Where is he now? Where Lord? Where is he now?

Oh, what a merciful and compassionate God we serve. What a gracious and loving Father. Tenderly God reached down to guide me through the long, lonely days and the endless dark nights. Gently He whispered music into my soul which only I could hear.

It was about three weeks after my brother’s untimely death, while I lay dozing one hot afternoon that I became aware of music playing ever so softly, ever so far away. I strained my ears to hear, but even as I listened it seemed to grow fainter and fade away. I relaxed and closed my eyes. But no! There it was again. Somewhere in the house a radio was playing. Very faintly, barely discernible. Feeling slightly annoyed, I sat up. Better switch it off or I would never get to sleep! I stopped in the passage and listened. Strange! There was definitely no music playing in the house. I walked thoughtfully back to my bed. Was I going mad? I lay down and closed my eyes once more and as I did so I heard it again. Louder this time and I recognised the song. Yes. It was the theme song from Titanic; My Heart Will Go On. Obviously one of the neighbours was playing their music very loudly. Determined to get to the bottom of it, I walked outside to the back of the house and listened intently. Silence! I walked to the front. Nothing. No music was playing anywhere. Puzzled I went back to the bed and lay down again. I closed my eyes and waited. Nothing! Not a sound.

To this day, over seven years later, I have never heard that music again. But I do believe it was a message from God. A message to tell me that I no longer needed to worry. Graeme is safe in His loving arms – all his sins forgiven including the sin of suicide.

God heard my silent grief….. And then I heard the music.

(Apart from a few minor details which have been omitted, this story is completely true. I have endured much grief and sadness in my life, as have many of my friends. Yet, we have never been called upon to walk through the fire without God giving us very definite evidence of His love.
I dedicate this story to my brother, Graeme, who protected me when I was a child and led me to Jesus when I was an adult. Through his death, tragic and terrible as it was, God revealed to me the fullness of His love, compassion, mercy and forgiveness.)


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Member Comments
Member Date
steven matchett03/15/07
Very moving. Thank you for sharing this intensely personal story. His music moves us closer to Him. God bless.
Jacquelyn Horne03/16/07
Wonderfully sad story. But, I'm so glad that God was able to speak to you in some way and give you comfort.
Donna Emery03/17/07
A wonderfull touching story and testimony to the wonderful blessings that God gives us... even in our most difficult times. Very good!