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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)

TITLE: Shopping for a Husband
By Jennifer Wetter
03/07/07


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“Men,” I muttered. Taking mental notes on the facts that you can’t live with and you can’t live without them.

I sighed in utter despair. I had just spent three nights on three blind dates with three men. One was a handsome doctor who was too into himself. Another was a boring and mediocre accountant and the last guy was a pathological liar. Needless to say the dates was quickly ended.

I was discouraged and frustrated with life, with men and with God. I’ve prayed for so long for him to help me find my soul mate, my perfect match, and my future husband. All I’ve seen is brick walls, dead ends and continuous U-turns. Maybe it was God just trying to tell me I was meant to die single and lonely.

I stomped my feet and pulled my hair.

‘Ouch, “ I yelled.

Completely forgetting I was wearing a pair of three-inch heels. Hatred welled up through my body. I bet you’re laughing real hard God, I thought.
.
I plopped appropriately on the couch; my legs sprawled over the edge. I sighed besides I already had a date General Hospital and Days of Our Lives

A soda was in my right hand and a bowl of popcorn was spilling in my lap. A tissue dabbed gently at my eyes; they just couldn’t kill Jason.

I begged the television. “He has so much to live for. He ... can’t.... die.” At this moment I was really starting to ponder my desperation and my sanity.

“Are you looking for your perfect match, your soul mate or your future husband,” a loud voice asked.

My eyes wandered around the room searching for the voice. I found my eyes strangely drawn to the television and a well-groomed man pointing at me.

‘Me,” I asked pointing at myself. “Are you talking to me?”
He smiled with his perfect teeth, “Yes, you. You still are looking for love aren’t you?”

I glanced at my soda, wondering if I was dead or the food was past the expiration date.

“You’re not crazy,” the man on television muttered. “I am really talking to you. Today and today only we can help you find the perfect man from the comfort of your home.”

I edged my way off the couch, staring at the man on the television. “How do you expect to do this?”

“Easy,” he laughed. “Just think about it like shopping for a new outfit, only this time you’re shopping for a husband. I’ll show you a few profiles and you tell me what you’d like to see.”

I held my breath, wondering now if I’d too much to drink. No pain, no gain. I suppose.”
The first profile read: Mr. Right and You

My name is Jason. I am tall, blond and muscular. I enjoy long walks on the beach, beautiful sunsets and staring at myself in the mirror.

‘Ugh,” I yelled. “Next, please.”

The next profile read: Searching for a Soul mate

My name is John. I am medium height and build with brown hair and eyes. I am looking for a woman in search of her soul mate.

I sighed, “ I am in love already.”

Well that was until I read further.

Continued: However, I am looking for someone who will keep the house spotless, cook every meal and bear at least eight children.

“Okay, “ I cried. “Next please.”

The third profile read: In need of a Savior?
My name is Jesus of Nazareth. I am a carpenter by trade, following in my father’s footsteps. I chip away at pain and suffering only to fill you with my peace. I loved you so much that I was willing to die for you so much that I did. I call the lost, the lonely, and the heartbroken to find me at the cross and at the crossroads of their lives. Perhaps I am the one meant to be you’re newfound love.

Tears rolled freely down my eyes. “I’ve made my choice.”

‘What’ll it be miss,” he gently replied.

I pointed in the direction of the television. “ I choose number three. I choose him not as an available bachelor but I’ve already chosen him to be the Lord and Savior of my life.”

‘Good choice, lady,” he smiled. “It’s funny how God can get your attention sometimes isn’t it?”

I nodded. Yes it sure is, Lord. Thank you for the reminder.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Emery03/11/07
Very, very nice. I liked the humor but loved the lesson. Good work
Angela M. Baker-Bridge03/11/07
Loaded with truth and humor! Thanks for writing it...