The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 898 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
very good. And very well written. I think the original list could be left out and the piece would not lose anything, since the article went right down the list. But it is good like it is.
03/11/07
This is a really neat and original concept. I enjoyed the way you expressed your desires. Paragraphs would have increased its readibility. Keep writing!
03/14/07
I like how you wrote this as a letter to God! Adding an extra empty line between paragraphs makes for easier reading. Good job and keep writing!! =)
03/14/07
Great description of what we all need. Very creative to make it a letter. Keep writing!
03/14/07
A very creative approach to the topic. This is a wonderful shopping list in the form of a prayer asking for those things that would make you a better Christian.

Try tightening up the writing a little by eliminating some extra words. Perhaps something like this for the intro: Dear God: I accepted you into my heart today, and I was wondering how I can become the Christian you need me to be. After thinking for a while, I came up with a shopping list of things I need.Ē

The ending was great! I especially thought this was a cute line: "I know that it may take many years to complete my list so thatís why I put patience at the top.Ē :) Your title was cute, too. Good luck with your writing.
03/14/07
My kind of shopping list! Great entry, creative and well written!
03/14/07
Wonderful letter to God! I need all those things on your shopping list, too! :) Good job!
03/14/07
This is great, very well done and certainly something a lot of us can relate to! ^_^ A few spaces would make for easier reading. I especially liked how you wrote it in letter format. It seemed a little awkward in places, but the message carried through. Maybe reading it aloud would help to work out the kinks. Great writing-keep it up!
Very creative way to describe what we all need more of. Great concept for your story! Keep writing!
03/14/07
This is a great letter to God. Thank you for writing it. You've already got some good advice, and I can't add anything there. Your words echo my prayers so exactly, I had tears!. I like the natural "speaking" voice you wrote with. Good job!
03/15/07
What a solid piece of writing here! A creative take on the theme and I think you captured a new Christian's faith and heart well. Great work!