The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/11/07
This was really good. I was braced for a feel good message but was pleasantly surprised to see the story have a more realistic ending. I loved the message, too. I used to think that was so unfair, that sins would be visited on the third generation. That was before I understood how it would be visited: by force of habit, learned from the earlier generation's offenses. Good point. Good story.
Good example of how our actions affect our children. The ending was sad, but that's often how it is. Good writing. It held me captive.
Good, powerful, realistic story.

I also like the real ending.

I would've liked to have seen this in first person, telling the reader exactly what's going through her mind. That might bring the reader even deeper into her story.

Excellent job!
03/15/07
Good take on the subject. Well written and interesting to read. Good job.