Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)

TITLE: Mall of Dreams
By LaNaye Perkins
03/06/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Tracy stumbled through the abandoned parking garage. One look at her face told of her sadness. Her green eyes showed a depth of sorrow that no one her age should know. Looking about frantically, she wondered if she had written the directions correctly. As she pulled out the paper to look, she could see that this was definitely the place. With a deep hesitant breath she opened the large glass door. She stood there for a second before stepping through the threshold.

All at once the empty shopping mall came alive. There were three stores, each with an elaborate window display. The first shop had a sales clerk whose smile compelled her to come in. Her legs moved with a mind of their own as she entered it. There was such kindness in the clerks face that Tracy couldn’t help smiling back. “Come, follow me to this table. Let’s see if we can’t help you find what you are looking for,” she said as she clasped Tracy‘s hand.

Tracy’s focus was drawn by what was on the table. She saw beautiful heart shaped boxes. On the top of each one was written: “Love“. She turned to the young woman and asked her how much it cost. “Oh, don‘t worry about the cost honey! Just put it in your bag for safe keeping and go on to the next store. It’s okay, go on and have fun!” she said. With a brilliant smile, she shooed Tracy out of the store and pointed her to the next shop.

The next store was like the one she'd just left. A sweet clerk came to meet her with such warmth that she followed without hesitation. This store offered brilliant boxes of all colors that had “Hope” written on them. Again she asked the price and was told the same thing as before. With excitement pounding in her chest she placed the box in her bag along with “Love“. Both boxes already seemed to be having a profound effect upon her. The beating of her heart made her feel a little giddy. She was excited, and couldn’t contain the smile that lit her face. She hadn’t felt this alive in a long time.

Only one store remained now. This clerk had an air of authority about her. Yet she was so full of love, and much more. Tracy couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something very special about her. She knew she wanted what this lady had to offer. As the woman led her to a table, its pretty boxes had the word “Faith” written on them. “Faith,” Tracy said out loud, without realizing it. The woman gently nodded and said “Yes dear, faith in Jesus. He loves you so much and He‘s been waiting for you all your life”.

Tracy's mind was flooded with years of Bible stories. She knew she had never accepted Jesus even though she‘d felt Him tugging at her heart many times. Her heart filled with the knowledge that this was Him, reaching out to her again, asking her if she was ready to believe in Him. Without hesitation she opened her heart and said “Yes“.

There was no need to look. She felt His presence as soon as He came near her. His voice was so tender as He said her name and wrapped His love around her. He told her that all she had received was hers to keep and much more. He had purchased it all, long ago. With a trembling heart, she looked up to see His face through her tears.

Tracy woke up with a start. Looking around she knew she was at home, in her bed. Had it all been a dream? Trembling with emotion, Tracy slid off the mattress to kneel beside her bed and pray. She stayed there for a long time, feeling the warmth of Jesus’ love for her. No, this was real. She knew it in the depth of her soul. This was REAL! As she opened her tear-filled eyes, she saw the bag on her bedside table. Inside were three boxes, each with a different label: Love, Hope, and Faith.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 814 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 03/10/07
This is just beautiful. I love your description - it is extremely vivid. Great writing!
Myrna Noyes03/11/07
Your intriguing title and first couple paragraphs drew me in to your story. Great message!
Melanie Carter Winkler03/12/07
I just loved that story. It gives me something to think about.
Catrina Bradley 03/13/07
Aww, you tugged on my heartstrings and made me feel all gushy and gooey! (That's a good thing.) I thought at first it might get too corny, but it didn't cross that line. Just the right about of sweetness, and of course a GREAT message. Good job!
Sara Harricharan 03/14/07
What a beautiful shopping trip! When I read the title I thought she'd entered a world with the best shopping bargains. The twist on this onew as even better than sale bargains though. It leaves a nice, slightly haunting sort of feeling. I like the touch with seeing the shopping bags and the three items. This was a wonderful entry with a great message! ^_^
Brenda Welc03/14/07
Elegant writing skills! I loved it!
Jen Davis03/14/07
I liked that faith, hope and love were freely given to her, and that it was Jesus who “purchased it all.” Very nicely written.
Donna Emery03/14/07
Excellent! You told this with true skill. Nicely done. I want to read more of your work.
Sharlyn Guthrie03/14/07
Your story is beautiful. You did an excellent job. I really can't tell you how to iimprove on it.
T. F. Chezum03/14/07
This is very, very good. I liked the the line about the items being purchased long ago. Well done.
Rita Garcia03/15/07
Great creative story! Blessings!
Julie Arduini03/15/07
This reminded me a little bit of a Christmas Carol, this was so creative and a message we all could embrace. Your descriptions were so strong, especially in the beginning. Great work!