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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)

TITLE: Soundig the alarm
By paula pinto
03/03/07


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"Maam would you mind stepping back please."
I felt humilitated knowing that the sound of the alarm as I walked through the doors was what had him stop me.
"It's probably just my keys or my cell phe, it often sounds off the alarm," I smiled though somewhat humiliated.
"Try walking through them again"
On my second approach to leave the store - the same thing happened.
"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to check you bags."
Angry...knwoing he wouldn't find stolen items in there I answered, " Are you serious?"
"It part of procedures maam"
"Well I guess that doesn't leave me with much of a choice," I laughed.
He opened up my bag and began looking through it.
"Here maybe a recipt will help, so you could see that I have purchased what's in there."
I handed him the recipt and then laughed again- his face revealed that I was somewhat mocking what he's have to do to prove so he coul learn I wasn't a thief.
"It seems eveything that's in there you purchased.Try walking though the doors again."
As I took my third stroll through the revolving doors- the alarm signaled again.
"Listen," I said. Maybe there's a problem with the system because I could reassure you there's nothing I'm trying to hide from you.
This time he laughed and said, " That's what they all say."
"Are you accussing me of being a thief?"
"Possibly"
Although he was ordered to follow proper procedres, the tone of his voice suggested that he had choosen to prove me guilty without second guessing that I may be innocent.
"Can you get your manager please," I demanded.
Within minutes the manager arrived and I explained the situation. He then responded to the security guard, had;t anyone told you that we have been having problems with the alarm systems all day.
"No," he responded angrily.
I felt a sense of ease - no longer being questioned as if I were a thief- and he got his- the rude security guard that was so quick to accuse me.
"Go ahead maam, you can go, I'm sorry about the inconvenience."
I walked out of the department store- feeling libereated- knowig he had nothing to hold be accountable for and somehow it remind me of my walk with christ. Knowing that there's an enemy who looks to accuse us daily...feeling we aren't good enough- we will never be good enough- we aren't libereated, but we are free - free to live in freedom knwoing that Christ has libereated us - even in fact of non-ending accusations from an unknown security guard just trying to do his job- much like the enemy who often tried to do his job best- but we must always be reminded that we are free.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jacquelyn Horne03/09/07
Good example of the enemies tactics.
Donna Emery03/14/07
This is very easy to understand and relate to. There are a few spelling errors here but this is a good story and I liked the lesson. Keep writing!
Phyllis Inniss 03/15/07
The story is a good one. I don't know if your word processor is giving problems, but there are a few spelling mistakes that could be caused by such problems
Deborah Porter 03/20/07
Hi Paula. The message is good, and one that had me cringing for you. I could almost feel my cheeks getting hot at the thought of being stopped like that. Now you probably just need to get some help with proof-reading so that all those typos can be caught ahead of time. A couple of typos here and there won't have any impact on a Challenge entry, but when there's a lot (with one even in the title), then it will probably be knocked out of the running.

Some others have suggested using a spell checking program on your word processing software, like the one in MS Word. If you don't have that sort of thing available though, there are other ones available online. There's quite a good one here:

http://www.spellcheck.net/

You can't totally rely on a spell checker to catch everything (for example, if you spell the word "their" as "there," it won't pick up the mistake) but it would have cleaned up a lot of the typos in your entry and would have given it a fighting chance in the Challenge.

I hope you'll keep writing and rising to the Challenge. It really is one of the best ways to hone our skills.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator and Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine)