Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sport or Fitness (02/15/07)
TITLE: FATS AND ALL
By Jorge VanSlyke
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I took a deep breath and walked slowly towards the little blue square that would make or break my day. I took everything off and started thinking of pretty pink and white lily thoughts, hoping that it would make me feel lighter inside. I took another deep breath as I step on the scales, invisibly tucking in my belly jowls, not daring to breathe out. Right foot, left foot, and then – 77 kilos.
77 kilos…77 kilos! I wanted to cry in frustration. I have been weighing 77 kilos since I gave birth and that was like almost two years ago. God, please help me! I’m desperate! I went to the kitchen because my desperation was making my tummy sound like a gas factory and I debated whether I should eat the left over blueberry cake from last night or splurge on thick peanut butter with nuts c/o Skippy or munch on my high fiber crackers that smelled like cow dung sometimes. Tough decision. Oh well, I decided to economize and finish the cake as my mother’s words about not wasting food because many people don’t have food to eat echoed in my mind. The cracker and peanut butter can last a long time.
And besides, I promised myself I will go to the gym before lunch and sweat out the sweets. Lunch time came and I was so busy playing with my daughter that I decided to wait until she napped in the afternoon so I wouldn’t have to miss our time together. An hour and two bowls of rice later, she was finally ready so I lay down with her to make sure she would sleep. Two hours later, my daughter poked my nose and I realized I gave in to the traditional siesta that plagues many of my country people. Oh well, my husband was about to come home soon and I wanted to be there for him, as a good wife should. He came, we talked, we played with the little one, and then it’s time for dinner. We ate, played a little, put the darling to bed, watched TV, then it’s time for us to sleep. Again, I was facing my little blue square accuser, and blinking back depression while I shoved the thoughts of Oreo and milk out of my blurred vision, I looked at myself in the mirror.
I looked and all I saw were imperfections. At the same time, the picture sticking out behind the mirror, showing my small family’s big, icing-covered smiles during my daughter’s first birthday, caught my attention. We looked so happy together in contrast with the drooping mouth of discontentment that the face in the mirror possessed. All of a sudden I felt convicted by the Lord. Why was I starting to obsess with the way I look? Is focusing on my body more important than thinking of ways to serve my Father in heaven through Jesus? Many women out there would trade for my watermelon stretch marks if it would mean having a healthy baby or my dangling “excessories” just for a husband who loves me…fats and all. And yet, I was focusing on what’s really immaterial in the long run. A healthy body and a healthy lifestyle is important but not if these are fast becoming stumbling blocks in our quest to put the Lord God in the center of our lives.
I looked back again, to the happy faces and to myself in the mirror. I stared long and hard and knew exactly when the light came into my eyes. I needed to let go. Let go and let God. This may be the most pathetic homework that I had ever thrown His way, but I needed His grace to grant me self-control. I needed to show Him my love by appreciating and loving me first and believing that I am one of His masterpieces and that He takes pleasure in me as His own child…fats and all.
I looked at the little blue square scale and with renewed confidence, I decided to junk it. There’s a big sale tomorrow anyway. A new one might help =)
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