The Official Writing Challenge
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This left me a little confused as to the point of this story. I must be missing something. The writing is good, but I don't get the point between the two different narrations. You might want to bring it together better.
02/23/07
I admit I was confused, too. Though your writing, dialog and descriptions were good I didn't see the connections between the two themes. Keep writing!
02/26/07
I take it this was basketball right? If so, I very much enjoyed this. It was slightly confusing, I couldn't follow the connection between the wanting water and the ongoing battle between the white shirts and the blue shirts. It sort of came together in the end, I was very glad that Scott won, but I wasn't sure why exactly there was the talk of 'water'. Otherwise, this sounds like a bigger story. Thanks for sharing! ^_^