The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I LOVE this! Very heart-wrenching yet beautiful. Enjoyed your descriptive writing throughout and the great message. Enjoyed reading it immensely.
04/21/05
Great story! You had me there watching. Excellent job.

(fyi in paragraph 3 the waters should recede not reseed - I think.)

dave
04/23/05
Very well done. You have talent, and once you clean up the few grammatical errors this would be great in print.
Wow. Very powerful writing here. And yes, the word is "recede". Other than that, I didn't see much wrong with this. Great writing!
"He watches as insects swirl around the street lamp outside" great line! You write very well. You did a great job staying in first person present tense.
OOPS! That's 3rd person present tense!