The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/09/07
You did a very good job of placing us at the fishing spot with you and your dad.

Some dialog would add even more appeal to this piece, and would help us to get to know you and your dad even better.
Great lesson learned. Wish you had fed my curiosity more... maybe insight leading up to that day? Your Dadís whereabouts since then? Good job.
This is a very nice story which holds interest. Dialogue would add quality. Dividing the paragraphs would make it easier to read but good work!!