The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/07
I like the 6th paragraph, about being committed for the entire season, and never giving up hope. A wonderful lesson.
Very good thought. Loved this piece. In my opinion (which often isn't worth much),you don't need "As" in the second paragraph. Just "They gather all..." Also,in the sixth paragraph (which is very good), I think "Even if they don't catch any fish," sounds redundant. This could be lost without losing any meaning here. Just "These men come..." In spite of the critique, I loved this. Good writing.