The Official Writing Challenge
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Good story. Good point. It needs a little proofreading however. Spell check and grammar check alone are not enough!
I have to agree with the above comment, some errors here and there, making it a bit harder to read, but overall, the point was well made and the story well told.
Great story line. My only comments would be to work on verb tenses, as well as, noun and pronoun connections.
God bless your work.