Staring out the window watching Joshua my 5 year old son playing outside with Scratch, my mind reminisces back to that day …..
Gently I place my hands on my tummy, and a tender smile tugs the corners of my mouth, as the picture unfolds in front of my eyes.
I was busy cleaning Joshua’s room, placing all his toys in the wooden box that his grandfather made for him, when I picked the pillow up from the floor, and a piece of paper slipped out of the pillowslip and fell to the ground.
It looked like a letter.The two words written on the outside of the letter consumed me with burning curiosity to open the letter and read it.
“ No! That is invading Joshua’s privacy!” I thought to myself. But the curiosity just grew stronger within me. I desperately wanted to read the contents of the letter.” Shame on you Anna!” I admonished myself.
I read the words written on the front of the folded letter again. “Dear Jesus” it said. With a guilty look on my face, my eyes combed the room, making sure that no one witnessed what I was about to do next. I crouched next to the letter, picked it up in a hurry, and tucked it in the neck-opening of my blouse.
I hurried down the corridor, turned right into the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. Out of breath I crossed my legs and sat down on the floor, then opened the letter.
My name is Joshua, I am 5 years old. I am sure you know who I am, because my mommy prays for me a lot. Her name is Anna. If you look in your book, I’m sure you will find her name in there.
If you can’t find my name, please write my name next to mommy’s name, then you will remember me, and if dogs are allowed in heaven please write Scratch’s name next to mine.
Mommy said I can speak to you about anyfing, even the fings I can’t speak to mommy about. I need to ask you a really, really big favour Jesus.
Sometimes I get very lonely, and haf nobody to play with except Scratch, but he is getting old, and then I will really be all alone.
I would like to haf a baby brother, or a sister. I promise to play nicely wif them, and not be ugly. I will even allow them to play wif my red truck my daddy bought for my birthday. I like that truck a lot.
I would also like you to visit me sometimes, and then you can watch me play. I will even let you play wif my red truck.
Please give grandma a kiss from me.
Tears streamed down my face as I read the letter again.
It has been more than a year since John and I decided to have another baby. We tried several times, but every time the results came back “negative”. We had given up on the idea of having another baby, thinking that maybe it wasn’t in God’s plan for us. That was until I read that letter.
It took me a good hour before I could gather my feelings and then I prayed. “Lord, let your will be done.”
I sneaked into Joshua’s room and put the letter back where I found it. When I walked out of his room I froze in my tracks as a shiver ran down my spine at the realisation that I was late! I am never late? Yes, I am 2 weeks late!
I am brought back to reality when Joshua’s laughter fills the room, as he comes running through the kitchen door with Scratch chasing him, around the kitchen table, and out they run again.
“Joshua” I called him back.
“Yes mom?” I hear his voice coming from outside
“Come here my angel, mommy needs to tell you something very important…”
With his blue eyes filled with curiosity he halted in front of me.
“You are going to have a baby brother; mommy is going to have another baby!”
For a moment he looked at me, with a shocked expression on his face. Then he gave me a hasty hug, turned around and ran out of the kitchen again.
“Scraaaatch!” He yelled.
“Come here doggie, I want to tell you something very, very important.” I hear him shout with excitement in his voice.
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