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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Writing (01/11/07)

TITLE: Writing - Why Do I Fear Sharing My Life in Ink?
By Kelly Fisher
01/14/07


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Writing. The word itself invokes feelings of both exhilaration and fear – both feelings so intertwined - I cannot tell one from the other. Even as I sit here, now, writing this – my stomach is churning and knotting so fiercely I can barely concentrate.

I am convinced that God has called me to share my life in writing. I have incredible stories of faith, miracles and the grace of God – and have no problem sharing them in the form of “verbal” stories to friends, family and even strangers. I have found myself, more than once, sharing with a stranger the story of the miracle God did in my marriage and family. Why then, I wonder, can I tell a stranger – face to face – the intimate story of God healing my marriage, but I cannot seem to write it down? Is it the accountability that comes with having it in writing? The fear, maybe, that someone will read it – and then tell me that I was wrong. That God does not do miracles in marriages anymore? After all, He chose not to save their marriage!

What about the incredible things that God showed me while on a mission trip to Guatemala just 10 months ago. The amazing things God did in my own life when I took an uncomfortable step of faith – and set out to leave my life as I knew it – to spend 10 days ministering to others. Only to find that I was the one who received an incredible ministering from God. That this trip was not about all the good that I was going to do in this poor country. God took me on that trip to minister to MY heart! Amazing!

Why then do I have this fear? Sometimes I think that it is Satan – trying to keep my from God’s perfect will for my life. Then, it occurred to me – it may not be Satan at all! It’s very possible that I am the one – keeping myself from the plan that God has for my life? Why? What am I so afraid of? Am I afraid to put myself out there – to trust literally thousands of people with my heart? Yes, in a lot of ways I am scared to let people see me – the real me! One of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning, seems to have said it perfectly - “Living out of the false self creates a compulsive desire to present a perfect image to the public so that everybody will admire us and nobody will know us.” Seems like I am spending more time living out of the “false self” than stepping out in faith, into the arena where God is calling me to share my life – completely surrendering my heart and trusting Him to guide me in this new adventure. I believe that Romans 10:11 says it best: “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” So, as a commitment to God, to trust Him completely in the plans He has for my life – to take a step of faith in pursing the sharing of my life in writing - I am submitting this writing – for once I send it along – there is no turning back in the pursuit of living out God’s plan for my life!


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This article has been read 404 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Penny Fairman01/18/07
I'm new to sharing comments on other peoples writing so I'm not sure exactly how to do it, but I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed reading your piece. You did a good job of expressing yourself and I could relate with your mixed emotions. Do not be afraid to live the abundant life that God has for you!
Julie Arduini01/18/07
You captured I believe all our hearts here. I resolved this year was the year I won't let fear hold me back anymore. It's been so freeing to finally obey.
Kurt Youngdale01/20/07
It seems to me that writing something down is a lot more permanent than word of mouth. With all the writing that is being expressed, will anyone read what we have writen or will anyone care? I think it could be more the fear of being irelevent is what may keep us from participating in the forum, at least that has been my own experience.
Jan Ackerson 01/20/07
I look forward to reading some of your "incredible stories of faith".
Joanne Sher 01/22/07
Excellent thoughts that I think we can all relate to. Thanks for sharing!
Carolyn Baney01/23/07
This is a wonderful piece; amazingly but not surprisingly, your heartfelt thoughts are apropos with my personal struggle right now. Boldness or at the very least being personal instead of "surfacey" is a calling from God all Christians fight. Thanks for giving us a voice!
Keep sharing...I'll be reading and enjoying your work! Besides, if you touch one life, it's worth it; you've touched mine.