Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Writing (01/11/07)
TITLE: Writing - Why Do I Fear Sharing My Life in Ink?
By Kelly Fisher
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I am convinced that God has called me to share my life in writing. I have incredible stories of faith, miracles and the grace of God – and have no problem sharing them in the form of “verbal” stories to friends, family and even strangers. I have found myself, more than once, sharing with a stranger the story of the miracle God did in my marriage and family. Why then, I wonder, can I tell a stranger – face to face – the intimate story of God healing my marriage, but I cannot seem to write it down? Is it the accountability that comes with having it in writing? The fear, maybe, that someone will read it – and then tell me that I was wrong. That God does not do miracles in marriages anymore? After all, He chose not to save their marriage!
What about the incredible things that God showed me while on a mission trip to Guatemala just 10 months ago. The amazing things God did in my own life when I took an uncomfortable step of faith – and set out to leave my life as I knew it – to spend 10 days ministering to others. Only to find that I was the one who received an incredible ministering from God. That this trip was not about all the good that I was going to do in this poor country. God took me on that trip to minister to MY heart! Amazing!
Why then do I have this fear? Sometimes I think that it is Satan – trying to keep my from God’s perfect will for my life. Then, it occurred to me – it may not be Satan at all! It’s very possible that I am the one – keeping myself from the plan that God has for my life? Why? What am I so afraid of? Am I afraid to put myself out there – to trust literally thousands of people with my heart? Yes, in a lot of ways I am scared to let people see me – the real me! One of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning, seems to have said it perfectly - “Living out of the false self creates a compulsive desire to present a perfect image to the public so that everybody will admire us and nobody will know us.” Seems like I am spending more time living out of the “false self” than stepping out in faith, into the arena where God is calling me to share my life – completely surrendering my heart and trusting Him to guide me in this new adventure. I believe that Romans 10:11 says it best: “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” So, as a commitment to God, to trust Him completely in the plans He has for my life – to take a step of faith in pursing the sharing of my life in writing - I am submitting this writing – for once I send it along – there is no turning back in the pursuit of living out God’s plan for my life!
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