The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good job on showing both viewpoints on an experience that happens to most of us!
Great descriptions and dialogue--I could see Jimmy and his grandpa, smell those cookies, hear that lecture, and feel Jimmy's squirming impatience with it! Felt as though I were there.

The story would be easier to read with spaces between paragraphs. Also spellings of "there" and "their" were reversed a couple of times.

Was delighted to read an overly-zealous though well-intentioned "devotion" as heard from the perspective of a restless child. Could not help laughing at the closing line! It makes a great title too, by the way.
I too loved the title and description of the grandpa and child exchange. A great devotional to boot!
A cute story and a funny title. Good job-loved the laugh in there with the "blah blah cookie" :)
always love how the simple can be used to explain the profound
this made me laugh, i feel like the grandpa