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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Pastor (11/30/06)

TITLE: PASTOR WANTED FOR SMALL CHURCH IN OHIO.
By Preacher Johnson
12/06/06


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“Good morning Miss Jacobs, how are you today?”

“I’m doing very well, how about you Sir?”

“To be honest I’m tired. The rest of the deacon board and myself were in session until nearly midnight last night drawing up this.” Deacon Myles hands Secretary Jacobs a single sheet of paper. “We would like you to place this ad on our denomination’s web site and monthly magazine. If any editing is needed, you know, grammar, spelling, things like that, please feel free to do so.”

“Yes Sir. I’ll have it done today.”

“I’ll be looking forward to the new Pastor, whomever he may be.”

“Amen to that!”

As Mr. Myles leaves the church, Shelly Jacobs sits down and reads the advertisement.

PASTOR WANTED FOR SMALL CHURCH IN OHIO.

Due to the retirement of our former Pastor, the fellowship here at Grace Church is seeking a new Pastor. Because of the church’s strong youth outreach the type of man we are looking for must be less than 35 years of age. He must have wisdom and knowledge, therefore, we are looking for someone with at least 20 years experience. There are many unchurched, unwed mothers in the community so our candidate must have the counseling ability to help with the social problems of these women. He must have the integrity to never be seen alone with a woman that is not his wife. Several immigrant families have moved into the area so the ability to speak Chinese (they look Chinese, we’re not sure what they are) is a plus but not a requirement. Because the church is small and stretched financially, the new Pastor may need a second job. It should also be noted that the congregation, like all other church families, has so many needs the Pastor will be on 24 hour call. If you have any questions please contact the head of the Deacon board, Mr. Myles at (440)555-7777.

Shelly placed the lone sheet of paper on her desk, folded her hands and began to pray, “Lord, they did tell me I could edit this if I wanted to . . . ”

That afternoon the following ad was posted on the denomination’s web site:

PASTOR WANTED FOR SMALL CHURCH IN OHIO.

Due to the retirement of our former Pastor, the fellowship here at Grace Church is seeking a new Pastor. The man we are looking for is the Spirit filled man called of God to serve Him here. If, after praying, you are interested, please contact Deacon Myles at (440)555-7777.


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This article has been read 528 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Helen Paynter12/07/06
I laughed out loud at this wry piece. I loved this - they look Chinese, we’re not sure what they are. Too true, all of it. Well done.
terri tiffany12/08/06
Great job!! Loved the way it was constructed and the ending especially. Watch you shift changes - I think you were present then past. Very nice writing:)
Melissa Morony12/10/06
Very satirical story to which I laughed at it and also raised my eyes because it's so true that such expectations are put on pastors.

Might be good to watch your punctuation. I know that can be hard if you're in a hurry.
Donna Emery12/10/06
A funny story but with a lesson hidden inside. I enjoyed the ending. Nice work.
Catrina Bradley 12/12/06
God bless the secretaries of the world! Our job is a very important one. Wonderful story. Loved the edited ad.
Marie Fieldman12/12/06
This is good. There is one thing I would rephrase, but since it's in quotation marks it's sort-of "allowed". The dialogue is very natural. (:
Joanne Sher 12/13/06
Very fun and clever! I definitely laughed several times. Love the edited ad (and the unedited one was just a hoot!).
Cheri Hardaway 12/13/06
Wonderful! Just loved it. I have no suggestions that haven't already been made, except to watch your punctuation. Very funny piece! Blessings, Cheri
Shanti Singh12/13/06
This was fun, fun, fun. Thank you for writing it!