The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/07/06
A beautifully written and powerful narrative. Vivid description--I could see and feel with the frightened girl preparing to confess her family secret.

The narrative seemed incomplete and left me hanging. I would like to read about Natalie's actual interview with the pastor and to know the outcome. Hard to tell, however, whether this was done deliberately for suspense (?).
12/07/06
Good powerful start - but I so want to know what happens next. You have real aptitude - don't cut yourself off short!!
12/08/06
A lot of impact for a short story! excellent ending:) You really hit on the girl's emotions well. You might want to make a few changes to make this story even better. Break it up into paragraphs and space it for easier reading and visual impact. A line set aside by itself can be very powerful.
Also look again at your first sentence. You may want to break it up into two. This is good writing:)
12/10/06
What a shame that stories like this exist in the real world. I can only pray that the pastor will be compassionate and will believe her. Keep writing!