The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/02/06
Wonderful testimony of a life changed by God! I appreciated Jacob's willingness to serve others for God's glory!

There were some "mechanical" errors that some proof-reading and polishing could fix.

I did enjoy reading your story, and I thank you for sharing it! :)
I appreciate your writing this and submitting it. It is a great story. It is a little hard to read. Perhaps it would be helpful to let it set for a little while and then read it out loud. Sometimes that helps a writer spot some things that could be written a little better. Just to point out a little, I would draw your attention to the 3rd paragraph. You have it's when the apostrophe makes it say it is. It should simply be its. Another is God's plan for his live which should be for his life (2nd to last paragraph). Last paragraph sentence is "Grateful for the day he turned over his life to Christ and chose to serve him." My suggested change is "He was grateful for the day he turned over his life to Christ and chose to serve him." Anyway, the story is a very good one AND I'm glad you wrote it.