The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/30/06
A fun read; and I'm not even a fan of westerns. ;-) You pulled me through the whole story vividly. I liked it when you tied back to the beginning by saying "EVERYONE hit the bloodstained floor." Very enjoyable.
12/01/06
Yeah, this is good. A couple of edits to tighten it up and kill a redundancy and it is probably salable if you expand it. If writing Christian westerns is your calling you have a wonderful and open field to explore.
I liked this story. Very good, yet I must admit, at first, it semed a little choppy, bouncing from one scene to another, but that can be expected with the word limitations. All in all, I think this was a great story, and I especially enjoied the ending.

12/04/06
This is good stuff! It is a bit choppy in the beginning. One note in particular, I didn't realize til much later that the sheriff was killed. The transition between the duel and the stagecoach is abrupt and can be smoothed a bit.
Grammatically it is well done, and your storytelling is very good for level one. Consider moving up to level two--there are fewer entries there and you Might get more comments.
12/04/06
Wow. Surely different & well done. The ending was a nice surprise.
12/06/06
Great piece! I was definitely caught up in the story! There were a few minor mechanical problems, but your writing was strong! :)