The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 580 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/04/06
You sure cover a lot here! I love your exposition on Claire's "volunteer problem", and how you expertly tied it to Jesus' life and admonitions. Nice job.
12/04/06
You write well - I mean that- all the mechanics are good and great content. WHat you might want to do is 'show' more than tell. FOr example - you kept saying she realized this or that - show it through conversations or actions and let the reader deduct that:) With a little work - you could have an even better story line!!
12/05/06
Good opening sentence, interesting story. I wish there had been a little more 'show' than 'tell'.