The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/06
Scanning the list of titles, yours is the first to jump out at me. You have some powerful writing, here. I was not disappointed as I read to the end. You touched my heart.

My only suggestion: your opening is a bit "slow." You might lose readers unless you grab them with a punchy first sentence/paragraph (you can always work the "slow" info into the body of your writing later, after you have their attention).
12/01/06
I too picked this one first as I was scrolling down. Good title. Very strong - powerful message here! I loved it:) It is a reminder we all need. My only thought was the part about you writing the book seemed to not really go with the flow- (though I am happy you are writing it)but for this essay it stops the message somewhat. Again - thanks for the reminder of what are soldiers do for us! ...another thought - you could almost end it with the soldiers part and the missionaries another whole story. Thnaks!
12/05/06
Great job. The title caught my eye, and the story itself was deep.