The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like the way you bring this story "full circle" as it were. It's a nice concept.
Excellent piece of writing.
I had goose pumps all over my body. Almost a tear in the eye too.
This was great. Loved it, good job!
Okay, this is a good concept. The tense shifts were bothersome and some minor typos were there, like "stairs" rather than "stares". Otherwise the concept is solid and I applaud the ending.
Good story! Mrs. Rose knew what she was there for; how wonderful that she obeyed God's leading. Nicely done.
What a wonderful woman! You did a wonderful job of telling us all about her. I enjoyed this - and loved your ending.
Love the ending! Well done and very realistic. Here's the critique you asked for on the boards. :-) I agree with Dub that you need to keep an eye on your tense shifts, spelling, and punctuation. I liked how you set up the time going by, but though some of them were unnecessary. Overall, though, I really appreciated this entry.
I really appreciated this piece, too! It shows that if we are faithful to His promptings, He can bring good out of the most hopeless situations. Thank you for sharing this touching story!
I like the style and the theme, but the tense (as others have said) needs some work. Also there are a few typos. You've a good idea here, without ideas you don't get anywhere, you can work on the other stuff.
I loved the story and concept! I could see the tired volunteer "just hanging in there" for a chance to tell the patient about Christ. You're very talented. Keep Writing!
I loved your entry. You did change from present to past tense a few times, and you need to keep an eye on that. Overall, a really nice job. I like this line: "...until Jane Armstrong and Mrs. Rose are the only two living persons left in the room." And I instinctively knew how it would end; good foreshadowing. Blessings, Cheri