The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 594 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/06
Nice! With your descriptions, I was able to peer out from the pulpit and wince from the frowning congregation! You captured the meaning of “volunteer” very well. My only suggestion would be shorter paragraphs with spacing to make it a bit easier for the reader. Other than that, good job!
12/01/06
Loved this! I agree that some spaces/smaller paragraphs would make it easier to read. Excellent job with descriptions, I loved the ending when the girl came forward. Good job!
12/01/06
I enjoyed this story. I especially enjoyed "If he had asked for resources, he would have almost certainly been inundated with offers. As it was, the congregation stared back at him stonily." Sadly, it is true that many would prefer to give of money than of self. You captured that tendency beautifully. Well done!
12/02/06
God bless that young girl! I hope her parents didn't quell her hopes when she got home. A very endearing story. Nicely done.
12/02/06
Excellent words of description. I agree that spacing the paragraphs would make it easier to read.
Keep writing!