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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Parent (11/16/06)

TITLE: A DATE WITH THE GIRLS
By Genstacia Bull
11/23/06


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Jan took a long look at her daughter Gillian from the top of her ash blonde head paused at the length of her mini leather skirt and finished off at her knee high stiletto boots.

“Did not hear what I said. The answer is NO you are NOT going out on a school night and that’s it.”

“Ease up Jan, she is seventeen. The girl has finished her assignments and she is responsible.” Dave rolled his eyes.

“Yeah responsible like I was, when I had her, right!”

“JAN! That’s enough.”

Gillian stood with her hand on her hip. Her shoulder length curls tilted to one side while her eyes darted between her glaring parents.

“Honey you can go, be home for ten thirty” Dave stated firmly.

Gillian sighed and speeded for the door and closed it quietly.

“Now are you going to tell me what that was all about, don’t you think that was inappropriate. You’ve got to learn to trust the girl until she gives you reason not to be trusted.”

“Oh you don’t get it do you, I have a dream for that Gill, did you see what she was wearing, do you honestly think that she is going to watch a movie with a bunch of girlfriends. Dave come on!”

“Well I choose to believe, so she is dressed a bit sexy, she is seventeen Jan.”

Jan’s face was all flushed with anger.

“My point exactly, she is seventeen her hormones are all over the place, and even if she was just going with a bunch of girls she is going to attract boys like bees to honey dressed like that. How could you override my authority in front of her like that?”

“She is my daughter too you know. Just in case you have not noticed I am a man and I am aware that boys would be attracted to her. Dave retorted

His voice softened a bit “All I am saying is; you have to cut the girl some slack. She is a good girl Jan do not drive her into rebellion like your mom do.”

Jan started weeping

“I am scared Dave, I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I did.”

“How about we discuss some boundaries we could put in place to protect her and at the same time allow her to be a normal teenager, without arguing in front of her.”


Jan sighed “I think that would be a good idea, besides there are other things we really do need to talk about.”


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This article has been read 513 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W11/27/06
Good start, work on dialog grammar, and try to eliminate some of the !
Thanks for posting.
william price11/27/06
Lots of good things here. You delivered your message well and kept me reading from beginning to end. A few mechanical things, but nothing that can't be fixed. You have the basics down pat. Keep at it, your on the right track. God bless.