The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 593 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/17/06
This is a good message, but I think it could be presented better. Take out "keep reading to find out the exciting conclusion." You shouldn't have to tell your readers to keep reading. They should be so riveted that they would never think of stopping. The same goes for the ending. Don't tell the reader or ask the reader if it was an exciting conclusion. The readers should decide that for themselves.

Over all though, a great message. Keep writing!
11/20/06
Thank you for sharing this interesting story! Those lifeguards certainly weren't doing their job, but I'm glad the other man was quick to help the drowning boy! Your story could use a little more polish, but I, too, appreciated your message! :)