The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/16/06
I really like that you left the specific danger unnamed--each reader will bring his or her own experiences to it.

A few suggestions: an extra white space between paragraphs, and avoid second person references (the "you" sentences toward the end of your piece).

This is gripping and ultimately moving.
11/19/06
A very powerful testimony and I can definitely feel the narrator's gratitude and be convinced of a rescue from a very serious situation. This held my interest. Nice job.