The Official Writing Challenge
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You did a great job of capturing the atmosphere of that era!

There were some minor problems with mechanics and POV.

This was a very visual piece, and I enjoyed it.
Chattanooga Choo-Choo is one of my grandparents favorite songs! Great visuals here. Punctuation and spacing needs to be looked at but other than that you've done a great job. ie: ,.?! should be placed inside your quotes, add a space before writing your next sentence and instead of telling the reader, show them (“ Well, Jack Porter”, said Peggy and tossed her brown hair. - "Well Jack Potter," Peggy said as she tossed her brown hair, "you avoided...)I hope these pointers help you as you continue to glorify the Lord with your gift of writing.
A very sweet and touching story. It definitely captured my interest and I enjoyed reading it. Good work
I really liked this story! You put me in the time and place with your writing. Please keep it up!