The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 653 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/17/06
I love the first two-thirds of this--very evocative. I could practically smell the salt air. The paragraph that begins "I now have goals..." perhaps needs a better transistion linking it to the ones above it...

...but then the last long paragraph does a great job of unifying the whole thing.

Good job!
You created a beautiful visual about the ocean and boarding.

I like the way your story into Jesus as lifeguard.
Connie
11/17/06
Very nice. I also enjoyed the descriptions of fun at the beach. Good job.
11/17/06
Nice job.
11/23/06
Loved this entry! Great conclusion! A few little flaws, as in "buddies and "ME", and "banned from beach" - and doubled up sentence...but otherwise it was delightful, an enjoyable read and right on target! Good job!