The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
It would help if you mentioned the baby's given name. Otherwise, the reader is left confused at the in-joke. Other than that, good story.
11/10/06
What a big moment in your life to finally go home with your son after all the previous anxieties. We have so much to be thankful to God for. Your writing has dramatized your experiences prior to your moment of joy.
11/12/06
I can tell this was a personal experience - a wonderfully descriptive retelling. I agree with the previous comment about not knowing the baby's given name. I was definitely distracted by the nickname, which made me long to know which president! A very compelling read!
11/14/06
Beautifully written narrative--I felt as though I were there and could feel with the anxious mother. Great detail in describing blood, surrounding objects, etc. as well as the mother's feelings.
Great job!