The Official Writing Challenge
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11/11/06
Very creative. I have not read Part 1, so I do not have the whole picture, but the images here are pretty vivid.
11/14/06
Intriguing fantasy--allegory. It sounds like the kinds of stories my younger daughter enjoys reading, and it would really reach anyone who's into fantasy!

I love the creativity and the names."Christell," however, might be changed into something that looks less like "Christ" and is therefore less obvious.

Beautifully written!
Hi ... is there a book in the making? I disagree with last reviewer, I wouldn't change the name Christel; I think I needed to know it as it's not all obvious to me. I haven't read a lot of fantasy and allegory, so I strugle making connections! Good sequel!
11/16/06
This was fun and very interesting to read. I think you did a great job, especially with the characters. It was easy to read and held my attention all the way through.
11/20/06
I wanted to comment on this one too as I see it is a continuation. I don't read this genre so I will comment only on structure. A few punctuation needs around the dialogue... also some of the dialogue tags could be changed perhaps. In one spot I noticed where a strictly past tense might have been better. Be sure to use quotes when speaking and put a comma after the end if your tag says she says or something to that effect. You might want to purchase The Elements of Style by Strunk and White - I use it all the time or Webster's Guide to Punctuation and Style. :)