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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Doctor/Nurse (11/02/06)

By Everest Alexander


Sa’nah awoke with a start! She felt cold. Not the external type that afflicted the skin but the one that chilled the soul.

Earlier that evening, they had sought shelter from the elements in an abandoned cave.

Now, as she sat up, her senses coming alive, the wisdom of that decision seemed dubious. She was sure she heard something stir from within the cave depths.

Sa’nah got up, carefully laying aside the blanket and crept from where she was so as not to disturb Ka’diysh and ventured into the darkness.

It’s not as if she wasn’t aware of the danger, she was, but it’s as though there was this compelling force that wrestled her common sense to the ground holding it captive as she proceeded.

As she stole away she glanced back at her aged Mentor; the warmth of the Glow-Stones kept him toasty and comfortable so that his sleep was both satisfying and deep.

Sa’nah melted into the ebony shroud of the cave and continued until the only sound was that of her faint footsteps furtively falling on the passage floor. What had she heard? Was it real?

Then she saw them.

They appeared to be hybrid Human and Black-Hound. She could, by the small light of the Moon-Stone necklace she wore, discern that there were two of them.

These beasts lacked the menacing demeanor of the former minions of The Nameless One and exhibited uncannily human characteristics. For one thing, they walked uprightly and secondly, they spoke.

“Hello, Youngling,” crooned the first Were-Beast as it came within talking distance.

“You can speak?” Sa’nah asked, more a statement than a question.

“Of course we do young Princess, after all, we wouldn’t make good negotiators if we lacked speech would we?” The second Man-Hound replied.

“A proposal!” He declared. “Our Master has decided to offer you and the Priest safe passage to Ellendale for one small token.”

“What’s that?” Sa’nah asked, still not completely trusting her senses to the unfolding scenario.

“Have you ever heard of The Elmerydian?” Inquired the first of the two creatures.

“Of course.” Sa’nah said, some pride spilling over the edges of her words. “I am an Adept-in-Training. It is mine to know such things. What is it to you, creature? I’ve dealt with your kind before and I’m not afraid of you!”

“Of course not, Princess.” Chimed the second beast. “You have Andalyon blood in your veins. You know no fear, right?”

Just then Sa’nah felt her chest beginning to constrict and became aware of the difficulty in breathing.

“Wha..? What’s h-h-hap…?” She gasped, sinking to her knees.

Why Princess, whatever is the matter? Beast # 2 asked, a sly smirk spreading all over his face.

“Sa’nah?” The voice sounded strange, as though coming from some unfathomable depth. “Sa’nah!” It began growing stronger. “Listen to my voice, Princess! Listen to ME!”

The Man-Hounds pressed in and Sa’nah felt like a vise was slowly crushing her ribcage.

“No weapon of fear shall afflict my soul, in Jzhan Christell I’m fearless and bold.” The words ascended from her spirit as though on wings. “I have overcome and conquered all, by the power of Jzhan mine enemies fall.” The Were-Beasts began dissolving into thin air right before her eyes. Sa’nah recognized the divine presence of The Light of Ki’ Shara releasing the healing balm of His words into her soul.

“Sa’nah!” The voice was insistent but reassuring. Slowly, she opened her eyes to the pastoral face of her Mentor, Ka’diysh. “You suffered another residual psychic attack.”

“So, I did.” Sa’nah responded. This time there were two of them, some kind of Man-Beasts but He delivered me just like He promised to. I can still sense His presence with me!”

“The Light of Ki’ Shara is faithful to His word, Sa’nah. He will ALWAYS perform it!” Ka’diysh had that far away look in his eyes as though remembering some past personal promise fulfilled.

“How long will the attacks continue, Ka’diysh?” Sa’nah’s eyes were hopeful.

“You’ve passed the worst, Princess; I sense his power has weakened. The Nameless One can only bully the ignorant and you are anything but. Keep meditating on the words of The Scrolls, in them is healing for the spirit and soul.”

“As I think on Him all strife must cease, for He will keep my mind in peace.” Sa’nah quoted from the VeoCode as they bowed their heads in prayer.

Pronunciation Guide:

Andalyon – An-DALL-eon
Elmerydian – El-meh-RID-ian
Veo – VEE-Oh

For More Pronunciation See Last Article.

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This article has been read 881 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Phyllis Inniss11/11/06
Very creative. I have not read Part 1, so I do not have the whole picture, but the images here are pretty vivid.
julie wood11/14/06
Intriguing fantasy--allegory. It sounds like the kinds of stories my younger daughter enjoys reading, and it would really reach anyone who's into fantasy!

I love the creativity and the names."Christell," however, might be changed into something that looks less like "Christ" and is therefore less obvious.

Beautifully written!
Leigh MacKelvey11/14/06
Hi ... is there a book in the making? I disagree with last reviewer, I wouldn't change the name Christel; I think I needed to know it as it's not all obvious to me. I haven't read a lot of fantasy and allegory, so I strugle making connections! Good sequel!
Sara Harricharan 11/16/06
This was fun and very interesting to read. I think you did a great job, especially with the characters. It was easy to read and held my attention all the way through.
terri tiffany11/20/06
I wanted to comment on this one too as I see it is a continuation. I don't read this genre so I will comment only on structure. A few punctuation needs around the dialogue... also some of the dialogue tags could be changed perhaps. In one spot I noticed where a strictly past tense might have been better. Be sure to use quotes when speaking and put a comma after the end if your tag says she says or something to that effect. You might want to purchase The Elements of Style by Strunk and White - I use it all the time or Webster's Guide to Punctuation and Style. :)