The Official Writing Challenge
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01/24/05
Very nice! Reminds me of Pilgrim's Progress. As I read, it made me feel like I was running with him. God bless you.
01/24/05
Nice writing. Your story held my interest and revealed a sweet surprise.

I did happen to notice many short, abrupt sentences; some of which were unneeded. "The path wound upwards. It was hard going. He was beyond tired now. He was exhausted." These sentences can easily be combined for better flow, while completely elminating the last all together for its redundancy. Remember to vary your sentence length throughout for the reader's ease. Simply stated: "The path wound upwards and made it hard for him to continue. His efforts left him compleley exhausted.

Thanks for sharing your interest in writing and for the message you brought to your readers.

Warm wishes, Joanne
01/24/05
Great story. I could feel the runner's emotions. I really liked the ending. Great job! :-)
01/24/05
Great story!
01/25/05
great story!
01/25/05
I really enjoyed reading this. It kept my attention and interest. The ending really warmed my heart and is a reminder that he is always there to get us to where we need to go. He is faithful and will never fail us nor leave us. We may not even always know he is there as you so wonderfully showed helping us along the way but he is making sure we get to the finish line and win the race of life.
01/26/05
great and very inspirational. God Bless You
01/27/05
I enjoyed this piece very much. It kept my interest throughout. I thought the short sentences gave the reader the feeling of breathlessness the runner was experiencing and added to the tension he was feeling. The end was great.
01/27/05
Excellent. I rather like the short sentences which seem to accentuate the labor and give a sense of panting. But that's just my take. Anyway, the piece is good!
01/28/05
This held my attention to the end. God bless you.
01/29/05
I love this entry if we could vote you would have my vote.

I thought the short sentences expressed his breathlessness toward the end of the race. I so loved the fact of the runner ahead being the one that gave him the desire to run in the race.
Great job.

Kathy
01/29/05
Great imagination. Simply superb
01/29/05
Very good. I really enjoyed reading this.