The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow, you really took us all on a rollercoaster ride here. Very interesting. I find it hard to believe that Sharon could get "closure" with just this one strange session on that pretty big list of horrible things she related. But the strangeness of the setting and the treatment certainly did keep me reading. Kudos to you!
This is well-written. I see a couple of grammatical errors, but nothing major. I don't know if the word count got in your way or not, but the ending did feel a bit rushed. I did enjoy reading this, though, and would really like to see this become a longer story. I think it is something a lot of women can relate to. Nicely done.
Very facinating story. I found the boxes a bit confusing at first, but enjoyed the trip.
11/13/06
An interesting story and I also would have liked to learn more about this place and what the boxes meant. A great start!
11/14/06
Definitely interesting! I enjoyed the read, but was also curious about the boxes. Great description!
Your writing is near impeccable. The tightness of your dialog and the smooth flow of the story make it a joy to read. Your descriptions work very well. Your narration is both entertaining and intellectual.

My two concerns are: (1) The use of the hyphen when a comma would suffice, it became a little distracting. (2) The ending: What happened? I suspect you're the victim of the ever dreaded 'word count.' But then again, THAT'S the challenge: To say what you need to say within that word count.

You left me wondering where the rest of the story was, and it was going soooo good! You're very skillful as a writer and I'm sure you won't stay in the beginners category for very long. Keep up the good work, mon ami!
11/15/06
This was great! Just be a little clearer about box things and you've got it made!

You did a great job with dialogue and atmosphere. And you 'showed' the reader instead of 'telling.'

This was so interesting to read - well done all around! :)
11/16/06
What an interesting piece - excellent - I feel like I've just woken up from a dream I don't really want to leave. Great writing.
11/16/06
So true that healing begins with closure! Visual story with very real voices for your engaging characters. yeggy
Liked the last line. Good message.