The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 535 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Wow, interesting setting for the topic. You seem to know a lot of the jargon and lingo for the time period and the setting. It felt believable. However, there were quite a few spelling errors which detracted me a little from the reading. And even though I liked the doctor's accented speech at the end, it seemed to come out of the blue be a little forced. I've been guilty of things just like that, so maybe it's why it stuck out to me. :o) And it would seem that James would have talked in the same manner, but he didn't. So just a few tweaks here and there makes an excellent story. Kudos to you!
11/14/06
Wow! Talk about vividness! I felt like I was right there! This was quite a read, especially with the great descriptions. Good job!