The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 537 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
You did a great job of capturing the mannerisms of most specialty surgeons I have known! I think the story got a little rough as you tried to give us a surprise twist at the end. Just needs a little tightening. Kudos to you!
11/11/06
An excellent reminder to each one of us when calling another an idiot! Very, very well done!
11/11/06
Unfortunately I know quite a few doctors like this. A sad ending and I pray he wises up, and that his son gets well. Interesting character study. Keep writing!
Interesting title - Draws you to read! You are a promising writer, pregnant with creative ideas that need birthing. I feel very strongly that your writing is a God-given gift meant to bless the world.

Your characterization is good! Dialog good! Descriptions very good! I literally saw the action taking place as I was reading.

Now, here are some things to pay attention to: (1) Be more diligent with your spelling (It helps if after you finish writing you lay it down for a couple hours or even a day if you can, then go back and read it with fresh eyes or ask someone else to read it aloud while you listen. This works very well to catch errors and tighten up your work) (2) You began in the past tense and switched to present tense along the way. (3) I am by no means a prude but remember you're writing to a Christian audience. In order to give your work a broader appeal you may consider being a little less extravagant with your use of expletives, even though they're symbolized and you were trying to show the character or lack thereof of the good doctor.

The reason is that in my 18 years experience as a Christian and 4 years Pastoring I've found that Christians are very easily offended. In the final analysis you must do as your conscience allows and what you believe will glorify God! This is just a word to the wise.

Whatever you do, keep writing! To stop would be to deny the world the work of a truly gifted artist! God Bless You!

11/14/06
Wow! This was pretty great. I sure hope that Dr. learned his lesson. The ending didn't have as dramatic a touch as I thought it would have, but I guess that's just me. Overall, good story. Just a tip to help with the symbols-you can always hint that he said something he wouldn't and use the other character's reaction for emphasis. This worked well for me when I have a character like that. Otherwise, Excellent job!