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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Doctor/Nurse (11/02/06)

TITLE: Doctor's Office News
By Carol Dee Meeks
11/03/06


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I thought of you there today
I thought of you there today
Sitting in the doctor’s office.
Sitting in the doctor’s office.
Today in the doctor’s office,
I thought of you sitting there.

In a breath only we understood,
In a breath, only we understood,
He said softly, “Our future needs change.”
He said softly, “Our future needs change.”
We understood, he said in a breath, softly,
“Only our future needs change.”

I felt the tears run down my face
I felt the tears run down my face
And drop on the floor in puddles.
And drop on the floor in puddles.
The puddles run down in the floor,
And I felt tears drop on my face.

In the doctor’s office today,
I felt the tears run down my face.
In a breath, he said softly, “Our future
Needs change.” We understood.
The puddles drop only on the floor,
And I thought of you sitting there.

I thought of all the years we’ve had
but with this news, we are not sad.
God holds us in His loving hands
and gives us peace like sea shore sands.

190 words
this poem is a PARADELLE--(French)


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Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Emery11/11/06
I like the reminder in the ending. I also like how you kept the "bad news" ambiguous... so that it could apply to everyone. I am not familiar with this style of poem. You conveyed the essence of your idea well.
Keep writing!
Sara Harricharan 11/14/06
This almost seemed like a song to me, I found myself setting it to a tune. Clear and direct. Good job!