The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/11/06
I like the reminder in the ending. I also like how you kept the "bad news" ambiguous... so that it could apply to everyone. I am not familiar with this style of poem. You conveyed the essence of your idea well.
Keep writing!
11/14/06
This almost seemed like a song to me, I found myself setting it to a tune. Clear and direct. Good job!