The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/05/06
You have a very descriptive syle of writing! I enjoyed sentences like, "Practiced serenity hid the struggle underneath. Great imagery! I could just see his tranquil face and his troubled heart!

I think I understood the intended message, but maybe it could have been a bit clearer. It spoke to me that the Lord wants us to use our gifts to minister to the needs of others.
11/06/06
Lovely, lovely allegory.
11/06/06
Amazing description and a fine, fine allegory. You definitely paint a wonderful picture with your words!
11/07/06
Allegory is so hard to pull off, but you nailed it. Well done. I would have been so dissapointed if they had not eaten of the feast.
11/07/06
Very descriptive! I loved the phrase of soaking in learning "like bread in soup". Wonderful!
11/07/06
This is a very creative piece. Very thought provoking. In this I see the struggle between Old Testament law and Christ's coming to complete it. The old law showed us how far we were from the holiness of God, but when Christ came, he showed that, if a man needed healing, the Sabbath was fine. I trembled at the thought of breaking the old law, though, clearly, this one was not given by God. Compassion for others was shown by Christ, as it was displayed here. It was very good that you didn't have the old man take that bite, but give it to another. I wouldn't be surprised if this one places! Nice job!
11/08/06
This was beautiful! You won't be in level 1 for long! Amazing writing, I truly enjoyed this to the very end. :)
11/16/06
Again - what struck me was the meaning was abit unclear - a few too many adjectives and adverbs in the first half - then it gets better. Try telling the same story without all the description and see how it sounds. You are a master of words but the content gets lost and makes it hard to connect with. An important part of writing is the reader gets it - feels it and connects. I like to think that when I say 'wow' or 'ahhh' after I read something - it moves me - that is the main point.