The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/19/06
CHILDREN CAN PRODUCE ALL KINDS OF EXCITEMENT. WELL WRITTEN.
10/19/06
Quite a story. Loved the ending...poor Ross.
10/20/06
Wow! I can't even imagine how a mom would feel at this time. A good story and you told it well. Keep writing!
10/22/06
What a wonderfully creative way to use the topic! Lots of suspense--I liked it.

There are a few pronoun issues in the opening paragraph, and I'm also wondering why your narrator would choose to have a dinner party on a weekend when her husband is away. A minor quibble, easy to fix.

Great job a leaving your readers breathless!