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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Police (10/12/06)

TITLE: Bank Robbery
By DeWayne Bricker


“Why do banks always open at nine o’clock? The entire world starts at seven; we’ll at least in my world.”

Every Friday morning I am standing in line trying to deposit my check so my bills won’t be late. But, they are always late. I always end up spending forty bucks more than what I make. I guess it’s the same with everyone no matter how much you make.

“Great, they’re finally opening the doors.”

I’m walking in, looking around. Everything seems to be running smoothly.

“There’s that pretty brunette at the same window again. I wonder if she ever gets tired of smiling?”

I’m at the window filling out my deposit slip.

“Man, what a smile.”

I hand it to Debbie. Her name tag has Debbie on it.

“She looks like a Debbie; thin and perky.”

Boom, bank, pow!

Instantly, I’m on the floor. People are screaming, running like cock roaches when the lights turn on.

“Gun shots, where are they coming from?”

I’ve been a cop for twenty years and this is the first time I’ve ever been involved in a bank robbery. I’m in plain clothes, but I have my gun in by ankle holster. The question is, do I pull it out and be a hero or just lay still like everyone else and let them take the money and run?

“I’m so close to retirement. Angie and the kids are waiting for me at home.”

My cop instincts take over. I see the perpetrator. He’s a tall, thin white male about two hundred pounds and very athletic.

“He looks strong, but stupid. He’s not wearing a mask. He must be desperate. Surely he knows there are cameras recording all of this.”

He grabs Debbie by the hair and forces her to open her register.

“Not Debbie. I bet she’s never hurt anyone or anything in her entire life.”

She’s petrified; shaking; she can’t get the drawer open. He hits her with his first. She falls down. He curses out loud and shoots the register. People scream again and cower.

“That’s it, this guys going down.”

He’s paying attention to the money he’s scraping up. I belly crawl to the counter. He can’t see me. I make my way to where he is. He’s just the other side of the counter. I hear him breathing.

“Man, if this guy breaths any faster, he’s going to pass out. Wouldn’t that be funny, a stupid crook passing out at his own bank robbery?”

I’m just about to stand up and confront him. I stand facing him with my gun right in his face.

“Oh, God, his gun is right in my face.” What a stupid decision. I should of stayed on the floor. Now, Angie and the kids are going to be without a husband and dad because I was stupid.”

We are standing here, both of us shaking. Neither one of us want to be here. Maybe, both of us can just walk away.

“I think I’ll try talking to him.”

“Listen buddy, no one needs to get hurt here. I’ll back away and you can just walk out, Okay?

A tear forms in his left eye and rolls down his face. He falters a little, letting his arm and gun lower a little.

“Great, I think he’s going to do it.”

He turns the gun to his own head.

“No, don’t....”

There’s a loud bang. Blood splatters Debbie and he falls. There are more screams, then silence.

“I can’t believe he did that.”

I walk over to him and take the gun from his hand.

“Someone call the police.”

“Poor guy, probably just needed some money to buy a Christmas present or something.”

You never know what’s going on in people’s minds. There’s so much hurt and agony in this city. I guess it’s the same all over the world.

“I wonder if he knew about Jesus or not? I hope he did? He could have, even Christians go wrong.”

My cell’s ringing.

“Hi, son. Yes, I’ll be home in a little while. Yes, I have it. Okay, tell mom I love her. By.”

“Good the Calvary’s here. I think I’m going to get direct deposit.”

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Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 10/19/06
Quite a story. Pretty realistic-you kept me reading all the way down. The ending was a little sad-but okay.
Donna Powers 10/20/06
An interesting story. You have a way with words. I got a little confused at times with the quotation marks, as it wasn't always clear when the narrator was talking, but it was still a good story.
Lynda Schultz 10/24/06
Watch the grammar and your details (a two hundred pound man is probably not thin). I think you meant cavalry not calvary at the end. However, good story.