The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/19/06
Quite a story. Pretty realistic-you kept me reading all the way down. The ending was a little sad-but okay.
10/20/06
An interesting story. You have a way with words. I got a little confused at times with the quotation marks, as it wasn't always clear when the narrator was talking, but it was still a good story.
10/24/06
Watch the grammar and your details (a two hundred pound man is probably not thin). I think you meant cavalry not calvary at the end. However, good story.