The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/12/06
A very nice story, and if it's true nicer still. I don't think I would have tried to put it in free verse though. I think it would have had more punch in just the telling of what happen that night.
I believe you have the potential to be a good, maybe even a great writer! Your work does need some editing and a little polishing here and there. But a good piece none the less! Keep on writing!
10/12/06
What a wonderful story! I would love to have read this in narrative form; it would lend itself so well to that format. As it is, a very long (almost epic) poem, it's difficult to maintain a consistent rhyme and meter scheme. Very charming...a good read.
10/13/06
A suggestion, for what it's worth; break up this epic into smaller verses...thus making it an easier read for your audience of readers...or, as others suggest, make it into a narrative. Keep up the good work.
10/15/06
A very nice story and it touched my heart.