The Official Writing Challenge
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Quite a story woven in there! The last line was great and the title is catchy.
This poem tells a great story, and has some wonderful elements--I especially liked the internal rhyme in the 1st and 3rd lines of each stanza. I was tripped up a bit by the meter, which was so close. I'd encourage you to go with a metric scheme of 12, 10, 12, 10 syllables--that could be done with just a bit of editing. Super!
A good story. Well told!
I like the way this poem comes full circle. The rhythm is not perfect, but it's a very nice read anyway. Good job!
Very well done!! I agree with the suggestions above, but was QUITE impressed with the storyline and wonderful job you did of portraying it!