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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Garden (09/07/06)

TITLE: The Garden of Anguish
By Becky Depp
09/08/06


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Im sitting in my Garden
Sadness and anger fill my veins.
I want to scream and release my anger
I feel stuck; I want to loosen these chains.

Im surrounded in a Garden of lies
The vines of wrath are coming towards me
I can feel the chains cutting into my flesh
The thorns of deceit wrap around my knee.

I have to fight the urge to succumb to evil
My screams echoes through the Garden
Tears flow from my eyes and to the ground
I twisted and turned but the vines hardened.

My body went limp and my tears eased
A sense of relief built into my veins
God please help me. The words formed
Im here my child whispered the rains.

The vines and thorns untwined
My chains broke and I was set free.
I ran from the Garden of Anguish
And for once in my life, I was happy just to be me.


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This article has been read 681 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amy Michelle Wiley 09/14/06
Great message. Good job!
Donna Emery09/17/06
Very nicely done! I felt those emotions very keenly, and I like your take on the topic.
Val Clark09/18/06
Very gripping and emotion filled poem. Well done. One thing to think about: watch you use of tense. Stanzas 1-3 are present tense then you drop into past tense. Great resolution. being grateful to be you. A lesson painfully learnt! :-) yeggy
Donna Haug09/20/06
I love the sensation of relief when the stuggles ceased and she called out to God. Do watch for verb tense changes (ie. past vs. present). You portrayed your feelings very nicely.
Allison Egley 09/21/06
I liked this. I had a bit of trouble with the meter, but it's also almost 2am, so take that comment for what it's worth. ;) I liked the message you presented. Good job.
Joanne Sher 09/21/06
Great images here - and a super message. Enjoyed this very much!