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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Garden (09/07/06)

TITLE: The Nicshaiites
By Reena Lysander


There is no difference where you are born only where you are brought up,right?Think again.
The Nicshaiites were different.They were born in a garden but brought up in a city just like you and me.The name of the garden was Nicsha and it was the smallest island in the world.No one lived there.There was only one garden and it was owned by a person who lived on another island.There was something special about this garden.Legend has it that there was once a widow from India.In those days when the women's husbands pass away the wife should be thrown in the fire.It was a terrible act that passed on for centuries.No women ever had the gut to run away for fear of torture by the people in their town,not that their future was going to be any brighter.But you know that all the women aren't the same.One women turned out to be different from the other's.Emily was devastated after the death of her husband's death.She wanted to start a new life.So she ran away though she was pregnant.She reached the coastline and swam for her life.She swam and swam till a girl on a ship found her and she was hauled onboard.Emily didn't know where to go and while on ship she saw a most beautiful garden.It was the garden.She asked to be dropped of there.The people said that that island had no inhabitants and some said that it was haunted.
"I don't have a place of my own.Thank you so much for your hospitality.I think I'd rather get down here".
Saying so she jumped into the water and swam to the island.
She took care of the island like her own and then one day came her child.
Her name was Nicsha.
Emily decided to name the island after her child.One day a man came to the island and bought it.Emily pleaded to name the island after her daughter.He accepted but said that she and her child should leave at once.
They left for New York.Nicsh was 6 months and as she grew older she somehow was different from the others."In what way you ask?.She always smelt nice and her skin was a weird but certainly awesome and beautiful color and there were other awesome characteristics that everyone wished could have.
After many a question to Nischa and her mom,people decided that the island was that changed her so.
That's how the group of Nicshaiites came into being.Everyone wanted their child to be like Nicsha and decided give birth on that uninhabited island.

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This article has been read 571 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Betty Castleberry09/15/06
I don't know if the information about the island is true, but it is certainly informative if it is.
Your piece would be a bit easier to read if you leave spaces between paragraphs. You also might want to proofread closer for spelling and punctuation errors.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Donna Powers 09/15/06
An interesting story, and the place sounds beautiful. I agree that you can improve this piece by checking your grammar and punctuation. But it is a lovely story, and it warmed my heart.
Ruth Neilson09/17/06
I was confused about the entire story actually. Though, I do agree with the comment about spacing between sentences. Keep writing!
Birdie Courtright09/19/06
This a very imaginitive little story. I think it would come to life if you concentrated on the details of maybe one or two of the experiences--there are so many and the changes in time and scenery are a little hard to keep up with. I had to read closely to avoid missing something important. Also, be sure to space after your commas and periods. I enjoyed the creativity and the message that to be unique is something rare and beautiful--and that is what we all need to find within ourselves. Thank you for your story! Keep up the writing! God Bless!
Dennis Fletcher09/20/06
I liked the story, it was well thought out and creative. I agree with all of the others, you need to proofread and work a bit on grammer, then you will blow our socks off with your stories. Keep it up, your creativity only gets better with practice!