The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/10/06
Very picturesque! I wonder if the central section might be more effective if written in the first person; as I read it, I was thinking that none of those things had ever happened to me...but in the first person, I'd be interested in your reaction as they happened to you. Did that make sense at all? You have a lovely way with words--keep writing!
09/10/06
Very vivid word picture. Nicely done.